11/18/2004

Well, today Microsoft announced that it might sue Chinese companies– or even the government– for using Linux, which it claims infringes on nearly 300 patents owned by Microsoft. While the details are more complicated, and while they may even have a case, this seems like a disastrous public-relations stunt doomed to fail.

In any case, perusing the various MS-bashing messages on Slashdot I found this great post likening Microsoft to the regime of Sauron of Morder… and anything that bashes Microsoft while simultaneously incorporating the Lord of the Rings storyline is good to me.

OSGILIATH (Reuters) – Mordor Corp. warned Middle Earth kingdoms on Thursday they could face the wrath of Orc armies for harbouring and aiding Gandalf and his fellowship of hobbits instead of rightfully bowing to the will of Sauron.

The growing popularity of Gandalf – a wise and benevolent wizard who freely aids all in need and is a friend of all free people of Middle Earth – is a thread to the global dominance of Sauron’s Dominion of Evil. Gandalf’s fellowship has illegally kept Sauron’s valuables, Mordor’s Mouth of Sauron said at the regime’s Middle Earth Kingdom Leaders Forum in Osgiliath. He did not provide any details on what, exactly, the nature of Sauron’s valuables are, which the Fellowship disputes.

Ex-hobbit Gollum McBride, who claims that “nasty hobbitses stole his preciousss”, is suing elves and hobbits alike, including the Shire. Rohan’s Riders of Defense at Gandalf’s council last month readied 20,000 horsemen to face the assault of Mordor Corp instead of submitting freely to the evil reign of Sauron. Other kingdoms in the region are also beginning to rally under one banner. Gondor, Arnor and Erebor this year agreed to jointly combat Sauron’s forces at Gandalf’s request.

The Mouth of Sauron said that security fears some rulers had about surrending to Mordor were overblown. “We think Sauron will provide far more security than Gandalf ever could. Sauron is a better protector for you lot because he has this awesome Ring which he forged, he fixed and he stands behind. Gandalf doesn’t have an awesome Ring,” he said.