Not champs

After three consecutive championships, I failed to make it a fourth tonight. My team ended the last indoor league in a close second-place finish. But we had a lot of fun and a great team.

Tomorrow night is the summer league draft, and games start next week. On to the next season, and the next run for a championship!

He’s back!

It was awesome to get a surprise visit from my good friend Matt over the weekend. He and his family moved to Utah about a year and a half ago, but came back to celebrate his nephew’s graduation. Here we are at church: the old bishopric reunited!


Today was the sort-of-annual Memorial Day ultimate hat tournament down in Boulder. While 50,000 people are running the Bolder Boulder, about a hundred ultimate players are on the soccer fields battling for eternal glory. A “hat” tournament essentially means everyone throws their name into a hat, and the teams are picked randomly. ┬áIt’s a fun way to meet some new people and play with old friends.

It’s a four-game tournament, with two rounds for seeding and then semifinal and final games. My team won our first game handily, then tied our second one to advance to the semis. True to form, Colorado weather struck and it rained during the entire game. It made the game a bit more interesting as we slipped on the grass and tried to huck a wet plastic disc. But we managed to win that game to get to the finals. Our opponent for the championship was the same team we’d tied a couple of hours earlier. This time, however, we crushed them in a decisive victory.

It was a lot of fun, and a great group of players. Here’s to my third championship in a row!


Last night marked the end of the Longmont spring ultimate season, so we had the big tournament. Last week’s regular-season games had been snowed out and the weather yesterday was pretty crazy. When the tournament started, the wind was probably blowing at a consistent 20mph, which always makes for a tough game with a frisbee. Halfway through the first round of games, the rain started… at first as a little bit of mist, but then as a full-fledged downpour.

We managed to eke out a win against our opponents, moving to the semi-finals. The rain continued and the temperature dropped. It was a hard-fought game, and we came out on top to advance to the finals. The team who had been dominating the league all season was knocked out in the semis, which was a little bit of a relief because we’d had trouble against them in earlier games. They later admitted it was because of the wind: their core strategy was to huck long passes to their fast/tall runners, and that simply didn’t work. I guess that’s a lesson in not being a one-trick pony.

As the final game started, the weather became strangely calm. The rain and wind stopped, and unbelievably, the sun came out as it was setting over the mountains. That caused a fantastic huge double rainbow to arch over the fields– beautiful. We played a hard game and dominated the first half, leading 7-3 as we took a few minutes to rest at halftime. But the second half was a struggle, and we found ourselves tied 8-8 after they’d outscored us 5-1 in an amazing comeback. We traded a couple more points and at the time cap we were still tied. That meant it was “universe point”, where the first team to score would be the champions.

It went back and forth as both teams played strong defense. Finally we managed to drive it into the endzone for the win. Woo hoo!

The championship prize was GRU athletic shorts, which everyone was pretty excited about. We took a few pictures to celebrate our win:

This was one of the most fun teams I’ve been on in a long time. Instead of the usual cheers that teams traditionally write after each game, we decided to play goofy games on the field like Ninja, Wah, Bang, and even Rock-Paper-Scissors. So all season long we’d finish our games and then challenge our opponents to something silly. I hope to make it a new tradition (partly because I’m terrible at writing cheers).

After last season’s indoor league championship, I have two in a row under my belt. Nice!

What a wonderful world

Isn’t it amazing that we live in a time when you can buy an entire bag of Smarties for a dollar at the dollar store?

It’s also important to note that they’re fat-free, gluten-free, and peanut-free. So they’re basically nutritious!

That’s a wrap

Today was the last day of seminary. Just before 6am I opened the door to my classroom and found this:

In teenage-speak, I think that means I’m popular. Or, maybe it means someone has a deep burning hatred for me; I can never remember. I’m not sure who was responsible– no one in my class took credit– but we did end up with a pretty impressive three-foot-wide ball of toilet paper.

As class was ending, I decided to take a picture of the 15 students (of 17) who were here today. What a handsome bunch!

This photo more accurately captures the spirit of the class, though:

I made an attempt at an “Oscar selfie” but failed… too many people…

I have to give a big shout-out to my fellow teachers, who are amazing and have been a huge support to me all year. Thanks, Katie and Jodi!

Here we are showing a little more personality– for some reason I find it hilarious that Jesus looks so serious behind us.

I absolutely love my calling as a seminary teacher, despite the early mornings and long hours preparing. It’s mostly because I have the privilege of spending each morning with 17 amazing kids. I’m looking forward to next fall, when I get to do it for another year. (I’m also looking forward to summer vacation, though!)


This morning I found a baby rabbit in my window well again. Maybe it was the same one from yesterday, and he still hasn’t figured out gravity. In any case, this time it was Zaque who rescued him.

I told Zaque he should let the little guy go, and he said “in a little while”. I headed out to meet up with a friend, and Laralee and Kyra were both gone, so Zaque worked on some chores around the house. When I came back a little over an hour later, I asked if the rabbit had been set free. It turned out he’d been hiding out in Zaque’s sweatshirt, just tucked away in the corner of a big pocket.

Zaque had tried to feed him strawberries and some water, but the rabbit didn’t seem interested. He was actually pretty content to just sit with Zaque. It was pretty funny to see my teenage boy enjoying some gentle, quiet time with a little animal. Laralee came home and, after hearing the story, commented that maybe we should get Zaque a pet. No thanks.

Eventually he was returned to the wild. I guess I’ll keep an eye on the window well in case he decides to drop in again.

Box o’ spit

Sometimes I stumble across some really odd things in my house. Well, maybe in someone else’s house they would seem odd, and for some reason in ours they seem right at home. Take, for example, this box I just noticed on our kitchen counter:

It is, quite literally, a box of spit. I’m guessing Laralee is sending off a few samples of hers for some testing or something. Who knows.


The window well outside my basement office claimed another victim this morning: a baby rabbit. He must’ve fallen in sometime last night, and obviously had no way to climb out. We have a history of animals trapped in the window well: a mouse, another mouse, and even a vole.

After Laralee and Kyra spent a few minutes remarking how cute he was, I went on a rescue mission and climbed into the window well to retrieve him.

He was very docile… maybe from the cold, or maybe from hunger. In any case, Kyra gently put him in a grove of bushes and he hopped away. We’ll probably see him again in a few weeks, munching on the grass in our backyard…

Some things don’t change

On Mother’s Day we had a chance to talk with Alex as he continues his mission in Peru. We connected Google Hangouts to our bigscreen TV and were treated to gems like this:

He’s changed a lot in the last year and a half, but it’s good to know he still has that same goofy streak.

Ahh, May blizzards

So this happened yesterday.

Yeah, it’s mid-May. Colorado is amazing.

I haven’t written anything political on this blog for a long time, but the recent train wrecks in the Trump administration (or should I say the increased frequency of train wrecks) make me feel like our country is in some kind of surreal situation, with a leader who is basically an arrogant, ignorant, petulant child.

In an op-ed piece in the New York Times, I read that Trump suffers from something called the Dunning-Kruger Effect, which is “the phenomenon in which the incompetent person is too incompetent to understand his own incompetence.” He demonstrates this over and over, most recently by revealing classified intelligence he essentially didn’t understand.

The Times article ends with this gem, which sums up much of what I feel about our President:

We’ve got this perverse situation in which the vast analytic powers of the entire world are being spent trying to understand a guy whose thoughts are often just six fireflies buzzing randomly in a jar.

“We badly want to understand Trump, to grasp him,” David Roberts writes in Vox. “It might give us some sense of control, or at least an ability to predict what he will do next. But what if there’s nothing to understand?



My seminary kids tell me that sometimes I get off on tangents while we’re studying the scriptures, and I think they may be right. For example, today we were studying the book of Revelation, which includes this verse:

14:3 And they sung as it were a new song before the throne, and before the four beasts, and the elders: and no man could learn that song…

It made me think of a famous song whose words few men know. I did a little bit of research and was fascinated to learn:

* The song was recorded in a single take, and it went terribly. The guitarist missed his cue, the drummer dropped his drumstick halfway through the song, and the lead singer’s voice wasn’t picked up well by the microphone.

* It received a little airplay but didn’t really take off. The band decided to break up.

* A DJ discovered it and played it as “Worst Record of the Week”. Suddenly it became immensely popular, because listeners couldn’t understand the lyrics and thought maybe they were obscene.

* The rumor of obscene lyrics spread, eventually leading to an FBI investigation of the song. After months of work, the FBI concluded the words were “unintelligible at any speed”.

* Not convinced by the FBI, the state of Indiana banned the song.

* Over time, the song has become one of the most covered tunes in music history, with some 1,600 different bands recording versions of it.

* The song has its own web site.

* There’s also an international organization called LLAMAS, made up of people who are fanatic about the song.

* The state of Washington attempted to make it their official state song (but sadly the vote failed).

* It’s played during the seventh-inning stretch at every Seattle Mariners home game.

The song? 1963’s “Louie Louie”, performed by the Kingsmen.

Yeah, pretty amazing stuff. And definitely related to the book of Revelation, right?

Oh, if you were wondering, LLAMAS is the Louie Louie Advocacy and Music Appreciation Society. No, I’m not kidding.

I’m rich! (Well, sort of)

Whenever we use our credit card and rack up “reward points” or whatever they’re called, we cash them in for Amazon gift cards. Every few months I check our balance and realize we can grab a few more cards, so I order them and, a few days later, I have a little guilt-free shopping spree. It’s guilt-free because hey, gift cards don’t count as spending actual money, right?

Last week I realized it had been a long time since I checked our reward-point balance, and I was happy to see that I could order a dozen $25 cards. Woo hoo! Today they arrived in the mail, and I added them to our stash. Now I have around twenty of them.

That’s $500 of whatever random junk I want to buy… expansions for board games! Goofy Halloween costumes! Buckets of Red Vines! Ooh, the mind boggles.


I saw this picture on the internet this morning:

It evoked all kinds of 1990’s nostalgia:

* A thirteen-inch screen in a compact, fifty-pound CRT monitor
* A mid-tower case with a 24X CD-ROM drive (eventually technology reached screaming speeds like 52X)
* CD-ROMs, or maybe music CD’s… either way, you don’t see many of those any more
* Doom!
* 3.5″ floppy disks in their little cardboard boxes

But best of all…

* The “turbo” button that changed the computer’s clock speed when you really wanted to run stuff quickly (note this particular computer is set to “HI”)

Ahh, good times.

Conversation starters

A couple of years ago, Kyra worked for our friend Emily, who owns a goat-herding business. She rents the goats to organizations– typically municipalities– who want them to handle weed control. Kyra’s job is to put up fencing around the area that needs to be “trimmed”, and then herd the goats into the fenced area. They remain there throughout the day, munching happily on weeds but generally leaving grass alone. At the end of the day, she herds them back into the truck and takes down the fencing.

It’s actually pretty tough work on a hot day, but Kyra enjoys it and has fun with her friend. Moreover, it provides a great conversation-starter whenever people are talking about summer jobs or “what I did yesterday”. For example, yesterday Kyra was working with a llama who got a little excited and spit on her. Why a llama? Because they’re very good goat-herders who protect the little guys from predators (or aggressive people, I suppose). When you’re a sandwich artist at Subway, you don’t get to tell funny stories about being spat upon by a llama.

All in a day’s work…

When all you have is a hammer…

I received my 2017 property valuation notice from Boulder County, and they listed the value of my house way above what it’s worth. According to them, it increased in value by over $80,000 last year! It’ll mean another $700 in property taxes. Not cool.

So I went to the Boulder County assessor’s site to figure out how to protest this valuation, and they provide some search tools so you can find comparable properties. They use “time-adjusted” sale prices, all calculated for June 2016 (the time of the valuation), so it’s a relatively simple matter of finding homes like mine, seeing their sale prices, and finding an average.

Of course, with tens of thousands of homes in Longmont alone, that “relatively simple” matter gets complicated quickly. Looking at a map isn’t a good way to identify homes of roughly the same square footage, or with a similar basement or yard or year of construction or whatever. Luckily the county provides a downloadable Excel spreadsheet that lists properties which sold in the past two years (which is the time period for the valuation). I downloaded it, and was a little dismayed to find that it contained 5,900 property records. Hmm.

Sorting by square footage was a first step, but not useful because I’d find houses the same size as mine, but 50 years older… or without a garage… or in a ranch style. After a few futile attempts to sort the spreadsheet in a way that would show me comparable homes, it occurred to me what to do. I’m a database programmer, right? So I wrote a little PHP script to load the spreadsheet data into a database that I’d quickly created, and pulled all of those values into the appropriate fields.

Then it was a relatively simple (I keep using that phrase…) matter of writing some SQL queries to find homes that matched my criteria, and calculate the average of their sale prices. I could look for homes with floor space within 100 square feet of mine, or built within a few years of mine, and so forth. After a few queries I narrowed it down enough to identify some houses that were more similar to mine than the ones the county had selected. I went back to their web site, filled out the protest form, and submitted my calculations. In three months they’ll respond whether they accept my proposed valuation, and hopefully my tax bill will be $700 lower.

I’m not sure what other people do in a situation like this, but if you’re a database guy…