$10 billion should be enough

Some guy named Thomas S. Ross has decided to sue Apple because he claims he invented the iPhone first. Specifically, in 1992 he sketched something he called an “electronic reading device” that allowed a person to “communicate, write notes, … and store reading and writing material”.

In his lawsuit, he points out how similar the two devices are:


Yep, clearly he was thinking the same thing as Apple, fifteen years earlier. Never mind that technology in 1992 wasn’t anywhere close to making this thing a reality… I mean, I could have drawn some cool little device that did awesome impossible-at-the-time stuff then too!

His technical detail drawing is kind of funny:


Notice the floppy disk drive on the left-hand side, and the comment that it will use a 16MHz 386 processor. Oh, and tiny solar cells on the sides that will presumably power all of this.

Although his patent was declared “abandoned” by the USPTO in 1995 because he didn’t pay application fees, he says he has suffered “great and irreparable injury that cannot fully be compensated or measured in money”. So he decided that ten billion dollars should be enough to put his anguished mind at ease. Oh, and royalties on all ongoing iPhone sales.

Apple’s lawyers are probably enjoying this.

Gigabits = a lot of bits

Today I got plugged into Longmont’s gigabit fiber network. It’s called NextLight, and from what I hear it’s the fastest municipal network in the country. Unfortunately I can’t take advantage of the full speed quite yet, because my ten-year-old router isn’t gigabit-capable… I need to find something faster so I can transfer huge files from site to site just for fun.

Take that, CenturyLink and Comcast!

Tornado WHAT?

I just got a couple of alerts on my phone about a tornado watch, starting now. It struck me as kind of strange, since outside I see clear blue skies, a few scattered clouds, and a beautiful sun.

The National Weather Service says the same thing:


Who knew? Of course I rode my bike today. Should I head home now, when it’s nice outside, or risk riding through a tornado in a few hours?

Han in Jello

Yesterday Zack found an old box of cherry Jello in the back of the pantry. He was bored, so he decided to mix it up and enjoy a little snack. He had the brilliant idea of pouring it into our Han Solo ice cube mold.


As it turns out, Han Solo doesn’t do too well as Jello. Too bad.

Resume fun

Zing’s in the market for a new developer, which means it’s time to poke a little fun at some of the stuff I see in resumes as people apply for a job.

Let’s start with an objective that uses some big words but is basically meaningless:

Objective: To play an integral role in an innovative effort.

When applying for a job where you write code, don’t start your cover letter with:

While I am no coder, I do possess a fun, quirky attitude.

Our job posting says very clearly– in bold font with capital letters– that we’re looking for a local full-time employee. So it’s always great when people say things like:

I reside in the Greenville, SC area. If the opportunity you posted can not be performed remotely, I apologize for the inconvenience.

And finally, something that had me puzzled a bit:

I am confident that, although I can show no experience on my resume, I can be an asset to you.

Points for honesty, I guess, but this guy is a long-haul truck driver. No kidding. He’s probably really nice, and hopefully great at his job, but I just don’t understand how a truck driver applies for a job requiring mid- to advanced-level programming skills.

And so, the hunt continues.

Dream job

I just received this email:


It sounds like a dream job: $150k/year, all the vacation and sick days I want, no dress code, wow!

Unfortunately I received it at 7:36pm Mountain Time, and the offer apparently expired at 7:00pm Eastern Time. Dang it!