Resume fun

Zing’s in the market for a new developer, which means it’s time to poke a little fun at some of the stuff I see in resumes as people apply for a job.

Let’s start with an objective that uses some big words but is basically meaningless:

Objective: To play an integral role in an innovative effort.

When applying for a job where you write code, don’t start your cover letter with:

While I am no coder, I do possess a fun, quirky attitude.

Our job posting says very clearly– in bold font with capital letters– that we’re looking for a local full-time employee. So it’s always great when people say things like:

I reside in the Greenville, SC area. If the opportunity you posted can not be performed remotely, I apologize for the inconvenience.

And finally, something that had me puzzled a bit:

I am confident that, although I can show no experience on my resume, I can be an asset to you.

Points for honesty, I guess, but this guy is a long-haul truck driver. No kidding. He’s probably really nice, and hopefully great at his job, but I just don’t understand how a truck driver applies for a job requiring mid- to advanced-level programming skills.

And so, the hunt continues.