Year: 2003

I saw something on Slashdot that made me chuckle… because it relates to why people hire guys like me to build them a web site…

If you can’t afford a webguy, how do you let people know how good you are? Hmm, that reminds me of something:

Bill: Ted, while I agree that in time our band will be most triumphant, the truth is Wyld Stallyns will never be a super band until we have Eddie Van Halen on guitar.
Ted: Yes Bill, but I do not believe we will get Eddie Van Halen until we have a triumphant video.
Bill: Ted, it’s pointless to have a triumphant video before we even have decent instruments.
Ted: Well how can we have decent instruments when we really don’t even know how to play.
Bill: That is why we need Eddie Van Halen.
Ted: And that is why we need a triumphant video.
(Pause)
Both: Excellent. (Air Guitar.)

So La and I finally got around to watching the ULTIMATE EDITION of “Stargate” the other night. There are two DVD’s: a Theatrical Cut and a Director’s Cut. Obviously we chose the latter.

It was amazing. Absolutely incredible. I think there was an additional twenty seconds of footage… maybe even thirty. (Yes, I said “seconds”, not “minutes”.)

Seriously, I have no idea what made it the Director’s Cut– except for a little 20-second clip that I hadn’t seen before, I recognized every scene in the movie. What a rip.

At dinner we were talking about the Evil Advertising Agencies and how they make TV commercials designed to entice you to buy their products. Laralee was expounding how Froot Loops have no redeeming quality whatsoever, and Alex retorted with, “But they say they have vitamins and minerals!”

To this, La replied, “Yeah, but it’s still like pouring sugar all over you.”

Alex’s response: “Yuck! Even on your feet? Between your toes?”

From a newsgroup posting:

One box to run them all,
one box to blind them,
one box to control them all
and in the darkness grind them
in the land of Redmond where the shadows lie.

The Linux Prayer, seen on Slashdot:

Our PC GOD Torvalds, which art in Transmeta^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H OSDN
Hallowed be thy skillz
Thy kernel comes, in the US and all the earth
Give us this day our daily updates.
And forgive us our holes, as we apply thine patch.
And lead us not into closed source, but deliver us from Microsoft.
For thine is the kernel, the skillz, and the leetness for ever and ever. Amen.

Example of irony:

I got an e-mail spam about software I can use to stop e-mail spam.

I just ordered a new computer for my company.

I’ve ordered five of the same thing over the past few months, and early this year (four months ago) they cost $600 apiece. Today’s order was under $400.

$400 for a brand new super-fast computer system… sheesh, I remember the first system I bought (an Apple IIgs) that was over $2,000 USED. My first IBM clone PC was also well over $2,000 and it had a screaming 386/33 processor…

I guess if I wait a week or two I’ll be able to get this puppy for even less!

We have a set of “poetry magnets” that are big words on magnetic strips– pretty cool, although they’re large (100-point font or so) and would take the entire refrigerator if we used them all. So they’re down in my office, stuck randomly to various file cabinets.

Today I saw an interesting pair:

THOUGHT MONKEY

I figure that would be:

1) A great name for a band. “Opening for Rush, it’s the Thought Monkeys!”

2) A great name for a think-tank. “General, I think it would be best to run this by the Thought Monkeys.”

3) A fabulous title for my business cards. “Jeff Schroeder, Thought Monkey.”

Freedom House, an organization dating back to 1941, recently released its report on the world’s most repressive regimes. They analyzed all the countries of the world in terms of political rights and civil liberties, assigning scores to each. Then they reported in detail about the dozen or so that were deemed “most repressive”.

The full PDF document is 136 pages long, and I admit that I didn’t read the whole thing. I did, however, read the chapters on China and Saudi Arabia simply because I’ve been complaining about both countries for years now and I wanted to ensure that my condemnation was fair. Apparently it is.

An excerpt from the China section:

“China is one of the most authoritarian states in the world.  Opposition parties are illegal, the [Chinese Communist Party] controls the judiciary, and ordinary Chinese enjoy few basic rights.”

And of course in Saudi Arabia:

“Women in Saudi Arabia are second-class citizens.  Women cannot get an identity card, obtain an exit visa, or be admitted to a hospital without the permission of their guardian. … The penalty for female adultery is death by stoning. The testimony of a woman is treated as inferior to that of a man in Saudi courts. … Although women make up half the student population, they may not study engineering, law, or journalism.”

Yikes.

While many things distinguish boys from girls, sometimes the most telling sign (in kids, anyway) is their choice of toys. The other day I was talking on the phone to the kids– who were on vacation with Laralee– and they were telling me about the new toys they got at a secondhand store.

Kyra: “Dad, I’ve got a cool new doll!”

Alex: “Dad, I’ve got three new guns!”