Get out the duct tape (again) because now we’re at threat level ORANGE PLUS! That’s right, campers, this is even worse than last time– which was just plain old carrot orange.

Of course any idiot with the IQ of cabbage could tell you that as we prepare to attack Iraq there’s a greater threat that someone might hit back. But looking more closely at the new threat, there are a few items of note. These are all quoted from an article on MSNBC:

“[Tom Ridge] said that, so far, the intelligence community hadn’t identified any specific threats to the nation.”

Hmm. Good thing we’re bumping the threat level, then. At least last time he said that the intelligence community had indications of something going down. This time there’s nothing really specific– maybe he had gas or something and took it as a sign.

Mr. Ridge continued with, “There is bound to be disinformation. Don’t react to rumors. We will strive to get the facts out there as fast as we can.”

Yeah, like the way they’re always getting the facts out to us. I don’t think I’ve seen many facts at all when it comes to this ridiculous Threat Level ballyhoo. It’s all mamby-pamby “well, maybe something’s going to happen” nonsense.

In an amazingly prophetic statement, Ridge also said, “We know we have been attacked before. We know that our interests have been attacked abroad. And we should prepare for potential attacks, either here or abroad at this time.”

Thank you, Nostradamus. So we’ve narrowed it down to a POTENTIAL attack, either here or abroad… in other words, something MIGHT happen SOMEWHERE in the world.

Finally, “U.S. counterterrorism officials say the most specific information points to possible attacks on U.S. forces in the Middle East.”

Holy cow– now I understand why these guys are getting paid the top dollars while I just sit around poking holes in their Threat Levels. Only a Nobel laureate could come up with logic that says someone might attack our soldiers marching into combat!

It’s certainly general knowledge that I openly mock the Threat Level system for its meaningless colors and lack of hard evidence, but even those who support the system for its ability to keep us “on our toes” (and buying plastic sheeting) must see this sort of rhetoric from Tom Ridge and others in the administration as nothing short of laughable.