So if you were a time traveler, and you were visiting today’s world but your time machine broke, how would you get it repaired? Obviously you’d need to contact someone who has the appropriate parts, but I don’t remember any Time Traveling section in the Yellow Pages. So how would you find the right person?

Of course– SPAM! Send an e-mail message explaining the problem to a million people, and hope that one of them has what you need.

Apparently that’s the rationale used by Brian Appel, a stranded time traveler who sent the following (no kidding) message to me and, presumably, a million others:


I’m a time traveler stuck here in 2003.

Upon arriving here my dimensional warp generator stopped working. I trusted a company here by the name of LLC Lasers to repair my Generation 3 52 4350A watch unit, and they fled on me.

Since nobody in this timeline seems to be able to deliver what I need (safely here to me), I will have to build a simple time travel circuit to get where I need myself. While it might be hard to find parts in this time to build anything decent, I need easy to follow schematics from the future to build one which is safe and accurate that will not disrupt the time space continuum with both forward and backward capability accounting for temporal location settings (X, Y, Z,), which can be built out of (readily available) parts here in 2003. Please email me any plans you have. I will pay good money for anything you send me I can use. Or if you have a dimensional warp generator available, and are 100% certain you have a (safe secure) means of delivering it to me please also reply with a secure way to contact you. Send a separate email to me at:

Do not reply back directly to this email as it will only be bounced back to you.

Thank You
Brian Appel