So it’s 1:30 in the morning and I’m hard at work, jamming to some tunes and configuring servers. All of a sudden this big fat spider saunters across my desk like he owns the place. No fear at all.
Now, normally if it’s a smallish spider I’ll kind of scoop him up and take him outside, because everyone knows spiders outside are helpful and eat all those pesky bugs. But quite honestly, at 1:30 in the morning I’m not in the mood to be patient and gentle with a big juicy guy walking right past my keyboard.
So I grabbed some tent stakes (yes, I have tent stakes in my office… you never know when you might need them) and smashed him. Then I looked around and found an old paper towel in the trash, which I decided I’d use to pick him up, throw him away, and wipe the spider guts off my desk.
When I turned to wipe him up, he was gone. Completely. Nowhere to be seen. Yet he’d left one leg behind (the tent stakes mashed him pretty good) and a bit of juicy stuff. How he managed to even survive the Tent Stakes of Doom is a mystery, but even more mysterious is how he crawled away across the desk in just a few seconds.
So now I sit here, a little worried because apparently this is a spider that can’t be killed by conventional means, and frankly he’s pretty ticked about the whole leg thing, and he’s silently plotting his revenge.
If he comes back, I’ll run him over with my mouse.