Okay, so I got another letter asking for my URGENT ASSISTANCE, and like most of them I skimmed it because it’s so much fun. Boy, these guys are really starting to write up some interesting missives.

This particular note is from Mrs. Susan Shabangu, who writes:

“After careful consideration with my children, we resolved to contact you for your most needed assistance in this manner.”

Wow, she’s asking her kids! I can just picture it.

“Okay, gather ’round, children. (Bobby, stop hitting Kelly.) I’m setting up a scam and I need to know who to send it to. I’ve got a list of fifty million e-mail addresses here, so I need you to help me pick the right ones.”

Then she goes on to say:

“I make this proposal to you as a person of integrity.”

Hey, great! She chose me for my integrity (and presumably honesty), because a few sentences later I learn that she’s got $18.5 million– in U.S. dollars, of course– that she needs to, essentially, launder. Nothing like a person with integrity to do the dirty work!

I was all ready to call her when I learned to my dismay:

“…due to my sensitive position in the present government, it is not safe to communicate with me via phone or fax.”

Dang. I guess the government of (insert name of African country here) doesn’t let her use the phones to launder their money. Too bad.

Ahh, the joys of the internet!