We have the world’s lamest microwave. It came with the house, because it’s mounted above the stove and matches the kitchen decor, so we felt like we should use it. We gave away Old Trusty to my sister… that was a fabulous microwave that I bought at (where else?) Wal-Mart and used for ten years. It had great features, logical buttons, and it– get this– heated the food evenly.

Our current Oven O’ Doom not only has the lamest cook buttons and annoying messages (“FOOD … IS … READY …”) but it doesn’t seem capable of actually heating food throughout. You get one spot that’s practically ready to initiate fusion while the fringe spots still have lingering ice crystals. I have no idea whether this is some freak accident or intentional design, but boy it’s irritating.