I’m about to be rich!
Today I got a message, in spameriffic glory, from my old pal Dunkat: some dude in Africa (where else?) who has $92 million he’s trying to shuffle abroad. In exchange for a simple phone number and bank account number, he’s willing to pay me a handsome commission for my part in the deal. Whee!
Here’s a portion of his message:
“…personally supervised by Nigerian’s Vice President Alhaji Atiku Abubarkar, who happens to be my brother-in-law of a sort, being married to my cousin Hajiya Titi Atiku Abubarkar.”
Ahh yes, good old Cousin Hajiya. She’d be proud of what her cousin is doing.
“I am working on commission based on a percentage of the total fund. If you are interested you will have to discuss your commission in percentage of the total sum with me.”
And discuss I will! Maybe I can get 50%!
“Understand that for you to qualify for this operation your bank account MUST be capable of accommodating the money in question without raising an eye brow.”
Not a problem, Dunkat! Of course my bank wouldn’t have any questions if my balance went from $1,100 to $92 million. Eyebrows, indeed.
“If YOU ARE INTERESTED, then let me have your phone number(s) immediately…”
Sorry, pal, no phone number yet. Let’s become pen pals first, shall we? So I’ve decided to give spam-baiting a go. I set up a new Yahoo mail account (just like him! how cool!) and sent him a message:
I AM VERY EXCITED ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS OFFER. I AM
SURE I CAN HELP YOU TAKE CARE OF THE MONEY. PLEASE
TELL ME WHAT COMMISSION I WILL RECEIVE FOR HELPING
WITH THIS DEAL. ALSO TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO DO TO GET
Notice my use of all capital letters. All the best spaminators use that technique, so I’ll look like a real pro here.
Let’s see what happens…