08/13/2004

Few e-mail jokes have ever elicited harder laughs from me than the classic “May the Pants Be with You”, which is a play on a bunch of lines in “Star Wars”.

In a conversation with my pal Dirk today– whose subject I shan’t go into– I thought of it and searched the old e-mail archives. Sure enough, back in January 1998 I received that message. Just reading through it now made me bust a gut. I don’t know why; it’s probably a “guy thing” combined with a “Star Wars thing”…

Without further ado…

We’ve got to be able to get some reading on those pants – up or down.

The pants may not look like much, kid, but they’ve got it where it counts.

I find your lack of pants disturbing.

These pants contain the ultimate power in the Universe.  I suggest we use it.

Han will have those pants down.  We’ve got to give him more time!

TK-421. . .  Why aren’t you in your pants?

Lock the door.  And hope they don’t have pants.

You are unwise to lower your pants.

She must have hidden the plans in her pants.  Send a detachment down
to retrieve them.  See to it personally Commander.

You look strong enough to pull the pants of a Gundark.

Luke… help me take… these pants off.

Great, Chewie, great.  Always thinking with your pants.

That blast came from those pants.  That thing’s operational!

Don’t worry.  Chewie and I have gotten into a lot of pants more heavily
guarded than this.

Maybe you’d like it back in your pants, Your Highness.

Your pants betray you.  Your feelings for them are strong.

Jabba doesn’t have time for smugglers who drop their pants at the
first sign of an Imperial Cruiser.

Yeah, well short pants is better than no pants at all, Chewie.

Attention.  This is Lando Calrissian.  The Empire has taken control
of my pants.  I advise everyone to leave before more troops arrive.

I cannot teach him.  The boy has no pants.

You came in those pants?  You’re braver than I thought.