Grown up and all Skittled out

So when you’re a kid, you always think about the awesome stuff you’ll be able to do as an adult, like eat all the cookies and candy you want, and play video games all day, and sleep in, and…

But then you become all grown up, and realize not all of those things are as awesome any more. Take candy, for example. About three months ago I was at the grocery store and decided on a whim to buy a big five-pound bag of Skittles. Because, hey, I’m a grown-up, and who doesn’t love Skittles in large quantities?

Apparently, me. It’s been three months and I still have a pound of Skittles sitting in the bottom of the bag, slowly decomposing into whatever Skittles decompose into. (What’s the half-life of candy like this, anyway?) I took out a handful today, munched on them, and decided it definitely doesn’t have the same appeal it did in college, when I’d down an entire snack-size bag of Skittles at once and laugh while brownish drool oozed out of my mouth because I couldn’t keep my jaws together. Ahh, good times.

So maybe sometime in 2016 I’ll finish off this bag, and then I won’t have any more Skittles whims.