For the second time ever, I decided to read Slashdot. It’s one of the most popular geek news sites around, and if I want to stay on top of the not-quite-news stories I should probably expand my reading horizons.

I was amused to find someone had posed the question “What would ‘The Lord of the Rings’ be like if someone besides Tolkien had written it?” The responses were riotous, with one of my favorites being Dr. Seuss:

Gandalf, Gandalf! Take the ring!
I am too small to carry this thing!

I can not, will not hold the One.
You have a slim chance, but I have none.

I will not take it on a boat,
I will not take it across a moat.

I cannot take it under Moria,
that’s one thing I can’t do for ya.

I would not bring it into Mordor,
I would not make it to the border.