01/31/2006

Jonathon Sharkey is running for the governor of Minnesota.

Most people (even those living in the great state of Minnesota) may not have heard of Mr. Sharkey– possibly because his political party is called the Vampyres, Witches, and Pagans Party. Go independents!

Sharkey’s platform includes the following:

  • emphasis on education
  • tax breaks for farmers
  • benefits for veterans
  • impaling criminals on the front yard of the State Capitol

Those first three are fairly plain-jane political promises we hear from many candidates, and cause a fairly “ho-hum” response from potential voters. But that last one– which is completely true– certainly warrants a raised eyebrow. Apparently he thinks terrorists and other violent criminals should be impaled. Nice.

Sadly, we may never see if the proud citizens of Minnesota will be able to elect a governor even stranger than Jesse Ventura, because Mr. Sharkey was arrested on felony counts from his days in Indiana.

Oh, and lest we neglect the legacy of Governor Ventura, it should be noted that Mr. Sharkey was a professional wrestler using the name Rocky Flash.