It’s not much fun to be a kid these days, particularly in Portland, Oregon. The Portland public school district has officially adopted a policy that says playgrounds cannot have any of the following:

  • swing sets
  • merry-go-rounds
  • tube slides
  • jungle gyms
  • teeter-totters
  • And, of course, playing tag is against the rules, as is running. That’s right, elementary school kids aren’t allowed to run on the playground. Without any of the fun equipment above, and without being allowed to run, I’m not sure what’s left– a thrilling game of marbles or something?

    Sorry, kids. Old people and overprotective parents suck.