On Thursday, Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska gave a stirring and emotional speech about the internet. Just reading the transcript practically caused me to spew liquid out of my nose. Here are some awesome examples– and keep in mind these are from the actual transcript.

I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o’clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday.
So you want to talk about the consumer? Let’s talk about you and me. We use this internet to communicate and we aren’t using it for commercial purposes. We aren’t earning anything by going on that internet.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It’s not a truck.

It’s a series of tubes.

And if you don’t understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.

Wow. If that doesn’t sum up the internet, I don’t know what does. Sen. Stevens is sure a technological whiz!