The Department of Homeland Insecurity would make me laugh almost daily if they weren’t so terribly awful it made me want to cry at the same time.

They’ve compiled a list of potential terrorist targets– over 77,000 in all– in order to more accurately assess how to spread funding and protect vital areas from the devastation of a terrorist attack. This translates roughly to “If you’re on the list, you get some cash.”

It’s important to note that none of the following fairly well-known landmarks made the list:

  • The Statue of Liberty
  • The Empire State Building
  • The Brooklyn Bridge
  • Times Square

I suppose the Department has some inside tips saying that terrorists wouldn’t dream of attacking such high-profile, heavily populated places. Instead, the list does include these important locations:

  • An Amish popcorn company in Pennsylvania
  • A kangaroo farm in Ohio (what the heck is a kangaroo farm anyway?)
  • A petting zoo in Alabama
  • The annual Mule Day Parade in Columbia, Tennessee
  • I’d laugh, but these aren’t jokes. Can anyone seriously believe the government is able to protect us from terrorist attacks when it does things like this?