So I have one of these idiotic requests for money, which I’m sending back to the solicitors with a polite note to never ever send me anything again, and I noticed this little note in the upper-left corner of the return envelope:

Do they think for some reason that such a note will cause the U.S. Postal Service to somehow treat this letter differently than the millions of others it’s sorting and processing today? Will some machine scanning envelopes pick up the “PLEASE RUSH” note and slip it into a special bin so it gets put on the turbo route?