Year: 2005

Yahoo News reports that the legislative body of Saudi Arabia has been presented with a proposal that would give permission for women over 35 years of age to actually drive a car. They would be allowed to do so unsupervised on local streets, but would (of course!) need a male chaperone for any freeway driving.

I think Munir al-Shahrani sums up the views of the Saudi population quite handily with his statement:

“Driving by women leads to evil.”

Lest any of us have doubts that women drivers are evil, consider his follow-up statement:

“Can you imagine what it would be like if her car broke down? She would have to seek help from men.”

Oh, the horror! It’s fantastic that the radical Islamic cabbageheads in charge over there are keeping women off the roads. Let’s not even go into how women would have to unveil their faces while driving, inevitably leading to horrible exposure to other drivers who are not their husbands.

While I have respect and tolerance for other religions and beliefs, I really struggle with the way the Saudis demean half of their population. It’s truly a shame, and just one of many reasons why I rate them right up there with North Korea and China on the Most Sucky Loser Governments list.

George Bush– leader of the West, college graduate, and butcher of the English language– was particularly eloquent in a press conference today:

“It seemed like to me they based some of their decisions on the word of — and the allegations — by people who were held in detention, people who hate America, people that had been trained in some instances to disassemble — that means not tell the truth.”

Err, I’m sure he meant dissemble. And what’s with “It seemed like to me”? Sheesh.

When asked about an impending Congressional vote on stem-cell research, President Bush said:

“I’ve made it very clear to the Congress that the use of federal money, taxpayers’ money, to promote science which destroys life in order to save life– I’m against that. And therefore if the bill does that, I will veto it.”

He then went on to say:

“However, the use of taxpayers’ money to design and develop new weapons to kill terrorists is A-OK by me! Show me the goods, Mr. Wizard!”

Okay, I was only kidding on that last quote. But he did say the first one, and it strikes me as ironic he’s so entrenched against the enormous life-saving potential of stem-cell research while being so gung-ho about killing Bad Guys.

From an article on CNET News:

Sixth-graders in American Fork, Utah, will start their journey to middle school on Tuesday with a warning from the director of the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office about the ills of illegally downloading music, movies and games from the Web. Director Jon Dudas is scheduled to deliver this year’s commencement speech at Legacy Elementary School, situated in the suburbs south of Salt Lake City.

“Under Secretary Dudas will remind students that downloading and copying music, movies and video games without…the artists’ or copyright holders’ permission is an illegal activity,” his agency said in a statement. “Dudas will also talk to the children about the importance of intellectual property and describe the value of patents, copyrights and trademarks in our economy.”

Hoo boy! Now there’s a good time! I’m sure the sixth-graders will be absolutely riveted by such gripping topics.

Sheesh.

From a news story on Denver’s channel 9:

BOULDER, Colorado — Police officer Mike Pease can tell the difference between tulips and marijuana.
Pease plucked a handful of marijuana plants from a tulip garden on the Pearl Street Mall as dozens of passersby watched. While Pease spent 10 minutes weeding out the weed, pedestrians pulled out cameras and snapped pictures.

“It will be placed into property and evidence and labeled for destruction,” Pease said. “We don’t know who the owner is, so no charges will be brought against anybody,” said Pease.

“This is so funny. This is hilarious. This is so Boulder,” said Erika Kriksciun, a graduating senior at Boulder Fairview High School.

As I am often labeled a die-hard skeptic, I love quotes like this:

“The important thing is not to stop questioning.”

— Albert Einstein

Steve, known to the world as VirtualSmitty, reports the following:

So, I get an AIM today out of the blue. Here’s the whole conversation:

Edredjem: hey
Edredjem: do you have a home
VirtualSmitty: who is this?
Edredjem: why do you ask?

I only responded the once. I thought that it might be an AIM spammer or something, but where’s the punchline? Where’s the “Cause you can refinance with Funky Joe’s Mortgage for just 3.14159% today!” I am so confused…

An update. A couple of hours later I got one more line from him:

Edredjem: do you crossdress?

I’ve always wanted a penpal!

Today’s winner of the Scariest Spam Subject Line:

“penis yoga”

I was too afraid to open the message and see what was in it…

“The word ‘politics’ is derived from the word ‘poly’, meaning ‘many’, and the word ‘ticks’, meaning ‘blood sucking parasites’.”

— Larry Hardiman