Cover letter of grammar

Today’s winning job applicant, in the category of Choppiest English in a Cover Letter, goes to…

In just about every aspect of communication there may rise an issue that must be addressed and worked out and I would love to be apart of a team of problem solvers that work towards a common goal of turning requirements into code in a fun reasonable time efficient way.

Hoo boy. I count eight spelling and grammar errors… and that’s just one sentence of many. Indeed, there is an issue in this guy’s “aspect of communication”…

School photos

Today Zack headed over to Skyline High to get his class schedule and have his school photo taken. The photo is used on his student ID, and if we don’t have a professional picture to submit, it’s also used in the yearbook.

He brought his Super Afro Wig and wore it, but was stopped at the door by a woman who said he wasn’t allowed to wear it. He sweet-talked her somehow, and she relented. “Okay, if you can get past the other people, you can wear it.”

He waited in line, afro on, and eventually sat for his photo. Just as the photographer was about to snap the shot, some older guy popped over and said sternly, “You can’t wear that in your picture.” What a killjoy. Sadly, Zack had to lose the wig.

Man, that kid.

Boobies

Last night we were watching Lost (long story) and Laralee asked where the term “booby trap” came from.

Without missing a beat, I said, “It’s from the days long ago when they would catch boobies, which are little birds.”

Both Laralee and Kyra were immediately skeptical. “You totally made that up.” They didn’t believe there was such a thing as a booby, and of course that my story about the etymology of the phrase was complete fiction.

Fortunately I had Zack on my side. He confirmed that boobies are little birds. The girls were adamant that there was no such thing. Laralee finally decided to end the debate by looking it up on her phone.

Kyra remarked, “You might want to be careful about searching for ‘boobies’ on the internet.” Ha ha, indeed you might!

Anyway, with some careful searching, Laralee was able to confirm that (1) there are indeed birds called boobies, and (2) there were indeed traps set for them back in the 17th Century. To be clear, a competing theory about the origin of “booby trap” states that it was intended for people who weren’t very bright, often referred to as “boobs”.

Vindication! Kyra still insisted I’d made it all up, and of course she was right, but it was nice that my more-or-less educated guess was correct.

Jihad

My friend Sean wrote this:

Autocorrect fail of the day:

We use a tool called Jira to track in-progress projects, bugs, features, etc.

I meant: “I’ll start a Jira to get this fixed”
It said: “I’ll start a Jihad to get this fixed”

Now they think I’m really passionate about fixing bugs…

Not a doctor

First, a word of explanation. On the first floor of the office building where I work, there’s a chiropractor’s office. He sees patients well into the evening, so often when I’m leaving to go home, people are pulling up in the parking lot to visit him.

So yesterday I was walking out, heading down to Boulder to play some ultimate. As such, I was wearing athletic shorts, my team jersey, and of course no shoes. A little kid came up on the sidewalk and said loudly,

Mommy, he doesn’t look like a doctor.

True, true.

The permit

Well, Zack’s officially on the road.

Screenshot_2016-08-01-10-20-21

“Not as good as Kyra” probably means all those hours Kyra and I played Mario Kart really paid off for her. Zack’s more into 2D side scroller video games, not driving ones…