Classify this as “funny because it’s true”…

Microsoft has just launched a worldwide tour to “get the facts out” and convince people that Linux is more expensive than Windows, as well as less secure, more difficult to maintain, and probably more evil.

In typical Slashdot fashion, some guy imagined the ad that Microsoft might use as part of this new campaign:

(sinister music) The Linux operating system has a dark secret – one its supporters don’t want you to hear. It can be used by terrorists, and can be installed to operate machines that kill puppies. We don’t know about you, but that doesn’t sound so free and wonderful to us. What other secrets might Linux be hiding?

(happy, relaxing music) But Microsoft Windows won’t stand for this. Its proven inefficiency helps thwart terrorist activities of every kind. By the time a terrorist installs Windows XP Home Edition on their computer, adds Service Pack 1, installs all of the many patches from Windows Update, implements an antivirus solution, removes the infection of the Welchia worm that was installed prior to downloading the RPC patches, as well as the Sasser worm that was installed prior to downloading the LSASS patches, the forces of good can save those puppies. And if the terrorist tries to share files with his fellow evildoers, no more than six of them will be able to access his machine at a time. Now that’s security America can count on. “I’m Bill Gates, and I approve this message.”