Dave Letterman’s Top Ten New Bush Strategies For Victory in Iraq:

10. Make an even larger “Mission Accomplished” sign.
9. Encourage Iraqis to settle their feud like Dave and Oprah.
8. Put that go-getter Michael Brown in charge.
7. Launch slogan: “It’s not Iraq, it’s Weraq”.
6. Just do whatever he did when he captured Osama.
5. A little more vacation time at the ranch to clear his head.
4. Pack on a quick 30 pounds and trade places with Jeb.
3. Wait, you mean it ain’t going well?
2. Boost morale by doing his hilarious “Locked Door” gag.
1. Place Saddam back in power and tell him, “It’s your problem now, dude”