This holiday season, the Motion Picture Ass. of America wants consumers to beware of bootleg DVD’s. They want to be sure we spend our hard-earned dollars not on pirated movies, but on their high-quality wares. How else would we be forced to watch the FBI warning, a lengthy heart-wrenching anti-piracy introductory message, and various Disney previews before even getting to the dang menu?

I’d like to help them in their mission to reap greater profits. As a public service, I present this picture of a woman demonstrating two examples of what might possibly be illegal DVD’s. One of them contains the first three Harry Potter movies, as well as the fourth movie in some other language. In her other hand is the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy, along with Earthsea (??), on a single disc. Wow! What a bargain! Clearly the MPAA would never want us to get such a deal, so they must be bootlegs.