Today’s recipe for riches:

1) Sneak into a bartender contest at a local TGI Friday’s restaurant.
2) Have your 18-year-old friend buy you drinks, since of course you’re underage.
3) Continue drinking until your blood-alcohol level is 0.238% (three times the legal limit).
4) Pass out in the parking lot, shattering your teeth.

And, wait for it…

5) Sue TGI Friday’s for $200,000 because they were “negligent” selling beer to your friend.

Tyler Bauer of New Market, Maryland is doing just this. Because, as we all know in America these days, nothing is ever your fault, it’s the fault of someone else… hopefully someone with lots of cash.

Here’s a classic Bloom County cartoon from twenty years ago: