The Department of Homeland Insecurity has actually declared an entire state of matter to be a national security risk.

Here’s a simple diagram to assist those who may be flying sometime soon– to ensure only the proper types of matter are brought aboard the airplane.

I predict that the next terr’ist plot will involve some quantity of solid matter, and from there it will only be a matter of time before solids are banned from airline flights as well. When will the madness end?