“You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly, and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer’s heart.”
— Fred Allen
Author: cosmo
07/02/2006
Wow.
07/01/2006
On Thursday, Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska gave a stirring and emotional speech about the internet. Just reading the transcript practically caused me to spew liquid out of my nose. Here are some awesome examples– and keep in mind these are from the actual transcript.
I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o’clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday.
So you want to talk about the consumer? Let’s talk about you and me. We use this internet to communicate and we aren’t using it for commercial purposes. We aren’t earning anything by going on that internet.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It’s not a truck.
It’s a series of tubes.
And if you don’t understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.
Wow. If that doesn’t sum up the internet, I don’t know what does. Sen. Stevens is sure a technological whiz!
07/01/2006
New Jersey is officially closed.
As of 9:30am EDT, the governor of the state closed all government offices and halted all government-funded projects. That includes parks, beaches, historic sites, road construction, etc.
Although I’d hate to be on vacation there– expecting to enjoy a nice Saturday afternoon at the beach– it seems the people most upset about this are… the casino owners! Apparently each casino is required by law to have at least one state monitor on the premises at all times, and those people have been asked to go home today. Frantic about losing their weekend revenue, the casinos have requested that all of the monitors be declared “essential employees” who will continue working even if the government has stopped.
Casinos. Essential employees. Nice.
06/30/2006
Today Craig called me to say he wasn’t going to make it to work. The conversation was sort of surreal…
Hey, it’s me. I wanted to let you know I had an accident while I was rock climbing today. I’m on the way to the hospital now…
Only later did I find out a rock had fallen, hit a ledge, and sliced his leg to ribbons. The cut was deep enough that you could see muscle tissue, and when he called back later (doped up on morphine) he said the muscle was actually hanging out of the cut at one point. Coooool.
Anyway, the good news is he’s going to be okay. I think he was secretly looking for an excuse to have a long weekend (combined with the holiday next week, he’ll score five days off).
06/30/2006
So Tuesday the NRO launched its latest super-secret spy satellite. Here’s a snippet from an AP article:
VANDENBERG AIR FORCE BASE, Calif. – A classified satellite for the National Reconnaissance Office was launched into space Tuesday night aboard a Boeing Delta 4 rocket. The purpose of the mission was not revealed.
It was not immediately known whether the satellite entered its planned orbit. Calls to the NRO were not immediately returned late Tuesday.
It’s funny that some reporter would call the NRO to ask about it. One can just imagine how that conversation would have gone:
NRO: Hello, National Reconnaissance Office.
Reporter: Hello, I’m a reporter.
NRO: Splendid! How can we help you?
Reporter: I’m just wondering about that super-secret satellite you launched…
NRO: Yes?
Reporter: Did it enter its planned orbit?
NRO: You bet. Everything’s working great.
Reporter: Can you tell me what the satellite actually does?
(pause)
Reporter: Hello?
06/29/2006
Here’s an awesome Unix-geek shirt:
06/28/2006
One wonders whether the photographer of this prom couple intentionally placed those flags.
06/27/2006
Speaking of desecrating the flag, here’s a great little picture of Bush autographing one:
06/27/2006
Thankfully, the Flag Desecration Amendment failed. Thirty-four patriotic Senators voted against the amendment, sending it to the showers for at least another year.
A couple of interesting quotes from the closing debate. First is Senator Bill Frist:
Countless men and women have died defending that flag. It is but a small humble act for us to defend it.
And then Senator Daniel Inouye:
Our country is unique because our dissidents have a voice. While I take offense at disrespect to the flag, I nonetheless believe it is my continued duty as a veteran, as an American citizen, and as a United States Senator to defend the Constitutional right of protesters to use the flag in nonviolent speech.
Amen, Senator. I should note that Inouye lost his right arm in combat during World War II and was later awarded the Medal of Honor. A patriot indeed.