Author: cosmo

Well, today Microsoft announced that it might sue Chinese companies– or even the government– for using Linux, which it claims infringes on nearly 300 patents owned by Microsoft. While the details are more complicated, and while they may even have a case, this seems like a disastrous public-relations stunt doomed to fail.

In any case, perusing the various MS-bashing messages on Slashdot I found this great post likening Microsoft to the regime of Sauron of Morder… and anything that bashes Microsoft while simultaneously incorporating the Lord of the Rings storyline is good to me.

OSGILIATH (Reuters) – Mordor Corp. warned Middle Earth kingdoms on Thursday they could face the wrath of Orc armies for harbouring and aiding Gandalf and his fellowship of hobbits instead of rightfully bowing to the will of Sauron.

The growing popularity of Gandalf – a wise and benevolent wizard who freely aids all in need and is a friend of all free people of Middle Earth – is a thread to the global dominance of Sauron’s Dominion of Evil. Gandalf’s fellowship has illegally kept Sauron’s valuables, Mordor’s Mouth of Sauron said at the regime’s Middle Earth Kingdom Leaders Forum in Osgiliath. He did not provide any details on what, exactly, the nature of Sauron’s valuables are, which the Fellowship disputes.

Ex-hobbit Gollum McBride, who claims that “nasty hobbitses stole his preciousss”, is suing elves and hobbits alike, including the Shire. Rohan’s Riders of Defense at Gandalf’s council last month readied 20,000 horsemen to face the assault of Mordor Corp instead of submitting freely to the evil reign of Sauron. Other kingdoms in the region are also beginning to rally under one banner. Gondor, Arnor and Erebor this year agreed to jointly combat Sauron’s forces at Gandalf’s request.

The Mouth of Sauron said that security fears some rulers had about surrending to Mordor were overblown. “We think Sauron will provide far more security than Gandalf ever could. Sauron is a better protector for you lot because he has this awesome Ring which he forged, he fixed and he stands behind. Gandalf doesn’t have an awesome Ring,” he said.

Well, it finally happened: Laralee has officially started listening to Christmas music. It’s always a question of how long before Christmas we’ll start hearing the tunes. She’s in the process of compiling an MP3 collection for her car player, so she’s going through our thousand and one Christmas tunes while she works on other stuff.

‘Tis the season!

Our friends the Lukowskis just moved to North Carolina, much to our disappointment. (I mean, come on… North Carolina?) I called them today just to say “hey” and see how things were going– they’re moving into their new house soon, and Rachel is due to have their second baby.

She picked up the phone, and when I asked how things were, she said they were actually on their way out the door, headed for the hospital. Apparently the baby decided today’s the day. That made for a short conversation! Hope all goes well for them.

It was only a matter of time before someone got serious about amending the Constitution to allow non-U.S.-born citizens to be eligible for the presidency. Of course it’s being driven by people who think Governor Schwartzenegger should be President Schwartzenegger.

Check it out: www.amendforarnold.com.

If they weren’t eighteen bucks, I’d pick up a few of the spiffy t-shirts as Christmas gifts…

“Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it’s important.”

–Eugene McCarthy

Crap. Abba won’t be getting back together. Saith Bjorn Ulvaeus (either the first or second “B” in the band name):

“I can understand that people are longing for Abba, but deep in my heart I know that they would be deeply disappointed if they saw us back up on the stage again today.”

Thank you, Bjorn, for having the guts to do what so many other washed-up bands can’t do.

Interesting side note: in 1985 the four were offered a billion (yes, that’s nine zeros) dollars to hook up again, but they turned it down then as well.

Well, I’m sure the Bush administration is arranging an immediate pullout of all U.S. forces from Iraq. In today’s BBC News I found this:

Pop star Madonna has said the United States should withdraw its troops from Iraq immediately.

If Madonna wants out, it’s only a matter of time.

Good old Dirk sure knows how to raise my spirits… he sent me a link to a news article discussing the resignation of John Ashcroft.

My fave quote:

Ashcroft, in a five-page, handwritten letter to Bush, said, “The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved.”

Sweet! America is secure… so we’ve apparently won the war on terror! I was such a naysayer, always criticizing ol’ John because I thought we could never really defeat the terrorists. Boy, I’m sure eating my words now! I guess now that they’re finished (and crime too!) John needs to move on to other things. Like, uhh, running for Missouri state senate or something.

Mwah ha HAAAAAAAAA!

“Happiness is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth.”

— Seen on an internet forum

Seen on kiro5hin.org:

Two things were made clear by the recent Presidential election. The first is that clique surrounding George W. Bush is not bothered by scruples in the pursuit of what they want. They will make promises that make no sense, ambush opponents with carefully planted lies, rig the voting machines, and use their power to manipulate the news. Perhaps the boldest and most sinister expression of this character trait was explained to Ron Suskind by a senior Bush aide:

“That’s not the way the world really works anymore. We’re an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality. And while you’re studying that reality — judiciously, as you will — we’ll act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that’s how things will sort out. We’re history’s actors . . . and you, all of you, will be left to just study what we do.”

Such monumental hubris can justify anything.

The second reality the recent election made clear is that, regardless of whatever election-rigging might or might not have tipped the scale in Bush’s favor, it is undeniably true that over fifty-five million American citizens honestly did ignore Bush’s failure to get Bin Laden, ignored the missing WMD’s, ignored the thousand war dead, ignored the back-door draft, ignored the two hundred million dollars wasted, ignored two dollar a gallon gasoline, ignored the plunging stock market, ignored our vanished international reputation and dwindling list of allies, and voted to let George W. Bush keep doing it for four more years.