Year: 2003

Laralee took Alex to some garage sales the other day, and Alex found a great use for one of his shiny quarters: two “joke books” that someone was probably overjoyed to get rid of. These books are those classic ones that are written for kids and are absolutely, positively, unquestionably not funny.

The best part, of course, is that Alex thinks they’re a total riot and every time he reads one to use he inserts his own personal laugh track and follows the punch line with “Get it?”. If we’re lucky he even tries to explain the joke, despite the fact that some of them involve plays on words that are a little above him.

Ahh, good old “knock, knock” jokes…

The EFF has written a long but thought-provoking article about the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA), which is regarded as one of the major forces behind the gradual erosion of privacy– particularly in the computer arena.

Using wide-ranging examples to demonstrate the damage incurred by the DMCA, the EFF points out how it’s illegal to do things like:

* Watch a DVD on your computer.
* Use a “universal” remote control or garage-door opener.
* Convert a copy-protected CD to MP3’s for your own use.
* Publish truthful information regarding computer security issues.
* Perform research into reverse-engineering security protocols.
* Customize your Sony Aibos robotic dog toy.

There are many more examples, and all of them show how the DMCA is being used for things far beyond what Congress originally intended when they passed the law in 1998.

As big corporations with expensive lawyers continue to take laws like the DMCA and pervert them for their own use and profit, the consumers and American public in general continue to suffer as a result.

Sigh.

We have the world’s lamest microwave. It came with the house, because it’s mounted above the stove and matches the kitchen decor, so we felt like we should use it. We gave away Old Trusty to my sister… that was a fabulous microwave that I bought at (where else?) Wal-Mart and used for ten years. It had great features, logical buttons, and it– get this– heated the food evenly.

Our current Oven O’ Doom not only has the lamest cook buttons and annoying messages (“FOOD … IS … READY …”) but it doesn’t seem capable of actually heating food throughout. You get one spot that’s practically ready to initiate fusion while the fringe spots still have lingering ice crystals. I have no idea whether this is some freak accident or intentional design, but boy it’s irritating.

Argh.

Yesterday I received a mysterious box on the front porch. I opened it and found a Sony CyberShot digital camera inside– much to my surprise, as I hadn’t ordered anything of the sort.

Closer inspection revealed a note from a client of mine, who’d sent the camera as a gift for my “hard work, late nights, and extra help”. Sweet! It’s a nifty little thing that easily fits in the palm of my hand, weighs next to nothing, and is pathetically simple to operate. While it isn’t a top-of-the-line professional quality camera, it’s perfect for grab-and-go snapshots.

My clients are great. It’s times like this when I really enjoy my job.

Okay, so I got another letter asking for my URGENT ASSISTANCE, and like most of them I skimmed it because it’s so much fun. Boy, these guys are really starting to write up some interesting missives.

This particular note is from Mrs. Susan Shabangu, who writes:

“After careful consideration with my children, we resolved to contact you for your most needed assistance in this manner.”

Wow, she’s asking her kids! I can just picture it.

“Okay, gather ’round, children. (Bobby, stop hitting Kelly.) I’m setting up a scam and I need to know who to send it to. I’ve got a list of fifty million e-mail addresses here, so I need you to help me pick the right ones.”

Then she goes on to say:

“I make this proposal to you as a person of integrity.”

Hey, great! She chose me for my integrity (and presumably honesty), because a few sentences later I learn that she’s got $18.5 million– in U.S. dollars, of course– that she needs to, essentially, launder. Nothing like a person with integrity to do the dirty work!

I was all ready to call her when I learned to my dismay:

“…due to my sensitive position in the present government, it is not safe to communicate with me via phone or fax.”

Dang. I guess the government of (insert name of African country here) doesn’t let her use the phones to launder their money. Too bad.

Ahh, the joys of the internet!

I’ve started reading J.R.R. Tolkien’s “The Silmarillion” (for the third time). Despite its reputation as a “dry history” of Middle-Earth, I always find it to be a fascinating story. It gives thousands of years of background for the whole “Lord of the Rings” story, and helps fill in the gaps. It also introduces some of the rather important characters– Galadriel, Elrond, Sauron– and fleshes them out in ways that help one appreciate their full story and the reasons they behave the way they do.

So Laralee thinks I’m crazy to read something so “dull”, but it’s just a prelude for my upcoming re-reading of the LotR trilogy. This will be my eighth reading– more than I’ve read any other book or series in my collection– and of course my target is to finish before the final movie comes out in December.

I’m working in my office, listening to a bunch of 60’s music, and Alex came in to ask if I would play the “Snow Dogs” song.

Confused, I asked what song that was.

“The one they play in the movie ‘Snow Dogs’. You know, the one that goes, ‘My baby beside me at the wheel’.”

I cued up Chuck Berry’s “No Particular Place to Go” and he was thrilled. “Yeah, that’s it! Thanks, Dad!”

At least he has good taste in music.

There’s quite a little drama outside my office window. I’m in the basement, and next to my desk is a window well (it’s actually the “escape hatch” for the basement). For the past few days there’s been a sudden influx of crickets, and even a praying mantis that prowls around.

Just now Alex decided to climb down into the well (from outside, of course) and he was banging on the window. I looked out, and he pointed out how one of the crickets had stumbled onto a big spiderweb in one corner, and the spider shot out and attacked. It looks like the cricket is having a bad time of it, but it’s endlessly intriguing to Alex.

Now Zack is at the top of the window well, looking down and offering his comments. Great stuff.

Laralee’s garden is flourishing, and I can’t wait until it’s time to harvest the corn. I don’t really care for the squash and some other things she’s growing in there, but corn is my favorite vegetable and there’s nothing like just-off-the-stalk corn on the cob.

Mmm…

A word of caution: when you’re sitting in a stroller, going down the sidewalk, ALWAYS WEAR YOUR SEATBELT!

Zack decided he didn’t need one, and he took a header out of the stroller the other day. The side of his face got pretty scraped up, and although he’s happy in this picture (several hours later) be assured there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth after the incident…