Year: 2008

Today’s my birthday, of course, and I got some sweet goodies from my pal Rick. He works at Google and told me to pick out a couple of things from the Google Store. So I scored a really nice pullover, which I’m wearing around the office today.

Tony and Luke picked up everything from water bottles to LED crank flashlights to tote bags. Laralee got a nice jacket, and the kids got glow-in-the-dark yo-yos. Rick threw in four lava lamps (yes, lava lamps) which are awesome.

Thanks, Google!

I’ve been watching the saga of the dying spy satellite with vast amusement. It seems that in the next few weeks a big (multi-ton) U.S. satellite is going to deorbit due to lack of fuel, and come crashing to earth. Somewhere.

The “somewhere” is the problem– it’s unlikely the entire satellite will burn up in the atmosphere, so some pieces of it are almost certain to hit ground. And at this point it’s virtually impossible to know where that will happen. Since it’s a spy satellite, it’s in an orbit that’s specifically intended to take it over land and populated areas as much as possible. I imagine the odds are still pretty good that it would land in ocean (since that’s 75% of earth’s surface) but apparently The Gov has decided to take no chances.

So they’re going to blast it out of the sky with a missile. The official story is that the government is concerned about the dangerous hydrazine fuel on board, and how terrible an effect it would have on people who find the crumpled remains of the satellite and– I don’t know– decide to drink the fuel or something.

This is the funny part to me. The whole reason the thing is coming down is because it has no fuel left. If it had fuel– even a little– they could use a deorbit burn to push it down and intentionally crash it into the ocean somewhere. Thus, the story about the toxic fuel causing problems for Auntie Em who finds it is almost completely unbelievable.

The truth, as anyone with the brains of cabbage could tell you, is that The Gov is worried the satellite will end up in China or somewhere that a handful of smart engineers could get the pieces, dissect them, and figure out some of our super duper spy technology. It has absolutely nothing to do with hydrazine, and everything to do with protecting secrets.

My question, I suppose, is why they don’t just come out and say that. Why not admit that they’re worried about technology falling into the wrong hands? Heck, Bush could even use the mysterious specter of The Terrorists and say he doesn’t want al-Qaeda to find the parts. But no. They concoct this incredible story about dangerous fuel, probably knowing full well that even a mildly retarded ferret could figure out the truth.

Laralee says the reason is that (and I quote) “They don’t even know how to tell the truth any more.” And in a way, I wonder if that’s true. The Gov is so accustomed to lying about its activities– clandestine or otherwise– that they can’t even come out with a true statement when everyone knows what’s going on.

Personally, I hope the thing plows into the White House or Pentagon in a spectacular fireworks show. That would be poetic justice.

Laralee just came back from the store with a bunch of grapes (“bunch”– get it? hah!).

Our kitchen looks like a freaking winery.

I love Mac fanboys:

Here’s a nifty thing: a graphic depicting the frequency of words that President Bush used in his State of the Union address the other night. The bigger the word, the more times he said it.

I was surprised “terror” only showed up 23 times– that’s probably a new low for him. Not surprisingly, “Iraq” was the second most common word in his vast vocabulary. And of course “al-Qaeda” ranked much higher than “child”, “hope”, “liberty”, “peace”, “reform”, or even words (which are only barely visible here) like “compassionate”, “strengthen”, and “succeed”.

I’m listening to Club 977 80’s channel on internet radio while I work, and generally there’s a pretty good mix of music from those glorious retro years. But every now and then a song pops up and makes one wonder, where the heck did that come from?

Take the current song, Tina Turner’s Private Dancer, whose refrain goes something like this:

Umm… what? Come on, Tina, that’s just stuff we don’t want to know about. Give me Karma Chameleon or something with equally crazy lyrics, because at least that song is fun.

Tom bought me a book for Christmas that pretty much sums up my life. Nice.

Makin’ cookies with sugar that’s… nine years old?

It’s been a couple of years since the Mentos + Diet Coke phenomenon, so it’s time for a crazy new combination of fun.

Enter potassium chlorate and Gummy Bears!

Step 1: Start with a test tube of molten potassium chlorate.

Step 2: Slide a single red Gummy Bear down the tube to his doom.

Step 3: Watch the flames!

These shots are taken from a video clip, and the flaming concoction lasted for a good twenty seconds. Pretty impressive for a single little lump of chewy red sugar.

Now, back in the old days we’d all see this and say, “Coooooooool!”. These days, it means that by next Tuesday we’ll hear about a new directive from the TSA about how Gummy Bears are no longer allowed on domestic airline flights. Who knows what evil could be perpetrated by terrorists armed with chewy candies?

“If brains were dynamite some people wouldn’t have enough to blow their noses.”

— seen on Slashdot