BoomFlag

AOL did a very foolish thing last week– they released information about the web searches (using their search engine) performed by 650,000 people. It was an enormous database where each user was assigned a unique number (to prevent anyone from knowing their true identity) and then all searches performed by that user were listed.

Aside from the obvious privacy implications, there’s the troubling fact that given a list of several months’ worth of searches by a single person, it’s possible to build a rudimentary profile of that person. In some cases it’s even possible to identify him or her. Take the examples of several users who searched for their own Social Security number. Perhaps they wanted to be sure the number wasn’t “in the open” in order to protect themselves from identity theft. Their reasons, whatever they may be, are their own. But now that AOL has released that information, without the permission of the users, researchers, hackers, and people who are just plain bored are having a field day with it.

Despite the fact that AOL realized their mistake and removed the data from their web site, the damage had been done. The data is everywhere already– mirrored around the world, available for download to anyone who can run a couple of quick searches (on Google, hopefully, not AOL).

I’ve read a few things about this, but the most interesting one deals with user #17556639 (again, an anonymous ID number). These are the searches this user entered:

Let’s ignore the fact this guy can’t spell “decapitated”, and for some reason searched for “poop” and, later, “steak and cheese”. There’s clearly a disturbing theme to these search terms. Is it some guy who wants his wife dead? That’s certainly the immediate thought. If it’s true, and he’s planning something, should AOL take some kind of action?

It’s obvious this opens up a barrel of monkeys the size of the Empire State Building. Even if this guy does want to kill his wife, he has (as far as we know) not yet committed a crime. There’s nothing illegal about searching for things like this, nor is it illegal to view– for example– photos of car crashes or decapitated people. Although I would argue this person has some scary interests, the searches themselves are within the bounds of the law.

The most frightening thing– to me– is the thought that the Government will see things like this (heck, let’s face it: they probably already have, since they commandeered searches from major players a few months ago), and their knee-jerk reaction will be to require the search-engine providers to implement some kind of algorithm to look for patterns in searches. Patterns like the one above would trigger an alarm, the FBI would be sent to investigate, and things would go south from there.

One hates to compare this to, say, Minority Report or 1984, where thoughts can be criminal, but I wouldn’t be surprised if some idiot congressperson decides to take action on it. I suppose we’ll wait and see.

“We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.”

— Dennis Miller

Here’s a guy with a future in mathematics.

In an awe-inspiring office prank, three guys took their revenge on a prankster who was out of town on business by replacing his entire office (minus the desk itself) with cardboard.

The loving attention to detail is perhaps the most moving part of this. Take, for example, the photo on the shelf that says “My Crappy Award for Something” or the LCD screen with the “Flagrant System Error” message. Even the keyboard has all its (cardboard) keys!

And let’s not forget the cardboard laser printer– complete with a slide-out paper tray– and what I can only guess is a cardboard fax machine.

Full props, guys! If only I could pull a fast one like this on an officemate…

“In archaeology you uncover the unknown. In diplomacy you cover the known.”

— Thomas Pickering

Laralee just got back from the store.

She bought a box of plastic ants.

For some reason this random photo amuses me.

Mmm… ads from the 1950’s.

Heaven only knows what they’re advertising… bacon? spaghetti sauce? dental care?

“I don’t think there’s any winning here. Victory for us is withdrawing. In this part of the world they have been fighting for 3,000 years, and we’re not going to fix it in three.”

— Sgt. James Ellis, U.S. soldier in Iraq

There are several Republican candidates for the Colorado Fifth Congressional district– which is in the Colorado Springs area. All six of them support the Iraq war, insist that everyone should stand by Bush, and claim that the “war on terror” and homeland security are their top priorities.

When asked about their views of the Iraqi situation, their responses were… well…

I don’t know which one is worst.

Duncan Bremer:

Yeah, that’s the problem. Our religion is right and theirs is wrong, so converting them is the answer to everything. And religious zealots will naturally welcome clean-shaven young missionaries holding bibles in their hands. BZZZZT! Wrong answer, Duncan.

Lionel Rivera:

It’s natural that a retired captain in the Army would think the answer is more troops. I guess the 150,000+ soldiers currently stationed in Iraq are just not nearly enough. BZZZZT! Thanks for playing, Lionel.

Jeff Crank:

According to Jeff, no matter how awful the situation is or may become, we can never ever ever give up and go home because it would invalidate everything we’ve done to date. Instead, we should continue pouring “blood and treasure”– to use his words– into the biggest disaster of the new millennium. BZZZZT! Not even close, Jeff.

Oh, and I’m also sick to death of the phrase “stay the course” when discussing the war in Iraq. The course to date has been a non-stop train wreck of incompetence and destruction– why on earth would we want to continue it?

John Anderson:

Apparently not everyone lives on the same planet I do. Who knew that global peace hinged on the Middle East? I guess if you’re talking about petroleum the Middle East becomes an important part of world politics, but I hardly think the rest of the planet will magically become tranquil when the guys in Iraq put down their guns. BZZZT! Mission Control to John: time to return to Earth.

Doug Lamborn:

Ahh, there’s the phrase we all love to hate: “the war on terror”. Apparently the answer is democracy. If terrorists could vote, they’d stop blowing up bus stations and restaurants. What’s with these people who think forcing our way of government– which we’ve developed gradually over a period of almost three centuries– will suddenly and magically make Iraq into a benevolent land of happiness? BZZZT! You’re no smarter than the Bush talking points you drone.

In short, it looks like the good residents of Colorado Springs have a tough choice ahead of them. They can vote for one of these clowns and continue trudging down the path of failure Bush has led us on, or they can look for someone with new ideas. I only hope they do the latter.