08/14/2006

Now that the so-called “liquid terrorists” (who came up with that description?) have been foiled, it must be time to increase our security measures yet again. Never mind that almost all forms of liquid– as well as common carry-on items like laptops, cameras, and iPods– are now banned from airline flights. That’s not enough, oh no.

Secretary of Homeland Insecurity Chertoff said this:

What helped the British in this case is the ability to be nimble, to be fast, to be flexible, to operate based on fast-moving information. We have to make sure our legal system allows us to do that. It’s not like the Twentieth Century, where you had time to get warrants.

Warrants, ha ha! That’s so antiquated, so “Twentieth Century”. Who needs ’em?

Never mind that the British intelligence service had been following these guys for almost a year, and only (grudgingly) made the sting last week at the insistence of the Bush administration. Chertoff’s assertion that they were “nimble” makes it seem like they received a tip and immediately scrambled the Harriers or something. Not true.

It’s also worth mentioning that the British obtained warrants for their work, are required by law to do so, and unlike their American counterparts, don’t seem to feel the need to flaunt the law and go behind the curtain to do their dirty work. And yet… somehow… they were still able to apprehend these terrorists… within the bounds of the law.

For Chertoff, Bush, Gonzales, and the rest of the jolly crew to continue insisting that the federal government requires more latitude, less oversight, and no warrants is nothing short of an obvious abuse of power at this point. The British have shown us how it can be done… and to use their long, hard work as an example of why we should ignore the laws is insulting.

08/13/2006

Bruce Schneier, a widely-read and respected author who writes lately about terrorism and related security issues, put together an excellent condemnation of the recent ban of all liquids from airline flights. I’ll quote a portion of his op-ed piece:

None of the airplane security measures implemented because of 9/11– no-fly lists, secondary screening, prohibitions against pocket knives and corkscrews– had anything to do with last week’s arrests. And they wouldn’t have prevented the planned attacks, had the terrorists not been arrested. A national ID card wouldn’t have made a difference, either.

Instead, the arrests are a victory for old-fashioned intelligence and investigation. Details are still secret, but police in at least two countries were watching the terrorists for a long time. They followed leads, figured out who was talking to whom, and slowly pieced together both the network and the plot.

The new airplane security measures focus on that plot… but only temporarily. Banning box cutters since 9/11, or taking off our shoes since Richard Reid, has not made us any safer. And a long-term prohibition against liquid carry-ons won’t make us safer, either. It’s not just that there are ways around the rules, it’s that focusing on tactics is a losing proposition.

It’s easy to defend against what the terrorists planned last time, but it’s short-sighted. If we spend billions fielding liquid-analysis machines in airports and the terrorists use solid explosives, we’ve wasted our money. If they target shopping malls, we’ve wasted our money. Focusing on tactics simply forces the terrorists to make a minor modification in their plans. There are too many targets– stadiums, schools, theaters, churches, the long line of densely packed people before airport security– and too many ways to kill people.

Security measures that require us to guess correctly don’t work, because invariably we will guess wrong. It’s not security, it’s security theater: measures designed to make us feel safer but not actually safer.

This is what I’ve been saying for years, and is really the fundamental problem with the way our government– and, indeed, many of our citizens– view the terrorist threat. Security and the appearance of security are completely different things. We seem to have a lot of appearances, but very little real additional security.

08/13/2006

The Department of Homeland Insecurity has actually declared an entire state of matter to be a national security risk.

Here’s a simple diagram to assist those who may be flying sometime soon– to ensure only the proper types of matter are brought aboard the airplane.

I predict that the next terr’ist plot will involve some quantity of solid matter, and from there it will only be a matter of time before solids are banned from airline flights as well. When will the madness end?

08/12/2006

Ted Stevens continues to get hammered (and rightfully so) for his awful portrayal of the internet as “a series of tubes”. You can buy everything from t-shirts to coffee mugs containing his catch phrase, and now I saw a hilarious “404 page”, which is what you see when the web server can’t find the page your browser has requested:

The tubes have been filled
The page you are looking for is temporarily unavailable. Someone has put into the tubes enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.

Please try the following:

  • Click the Unclog button, or try again later.
  • Make sure that the web site address displayed in the address bar of your browser is spelled and formatted correctly, including all stutters.
  • What has happened to your personal internet? If your staff sent you an internet Friday, you got it yesterday. Why?
  • The internet is not a big truck; Windows can check your Tube Connection Settings to make sure that your computer is set to put your message into the tubes, and not to dump.
  • Click the Back button to try another tube.

Full tubes or big truck error.

08/11/2006

Whether it’s true or not, this “letter” from a Maryland resident to his Senator is hilarious.

The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
309 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington DC 20510

Dear Senator Sarbanes:

As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Immigration and Naturalization Service in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My reasons for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate, and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill’s provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, what I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years.

I know a good deal when I see one, and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out. Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I’m excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,
Pete McGlaughlin

08/10/2006

It’s funny– I play ultimate more or less year-round (weather permitting), but only during the summer do I get the full-blown intense workout that makes me feel like I’m really in shape. And I can almost feel myself improving each month, until I hit some kind of peak physical state where I’m “in the zone”.

This week I reached that point.

I played four games (a fairly standard week) and just seemed to slide into the right places at the right times. I made defensive plays I normally miss by a step, I threw dead-on fifty-yard passes, I caught ankle-high swill at a full run. I was in the zone, and it was great.

Hopefully it will continue– at least until late fall, when the weather makes it hard to play several times a week, and I lapse back into my winter state of lethargy.