Author: cosmo

01/05/2007

Am I the only person who finds it immensely amusing that the U.S. Government is now saying that if North Korea conducts a second nuclear weapons test, there will be “severe consequences”?

I’m sure Kim and his merry band are having a good laugh over that as they think back to that point a few months ago when the U.S. Government said there would be “severe consequences” to their test. It’s sort of like the policeman without a gun yelling, “Stop! Or I’ll stay ‘Stop’ again!”

The humor value of our government notwithstanding, I fail to see why we even care about North Korean nuclear weapons tests. The last one was the biggest fizzle since the Chinese invented firecrackers– most reports said it didn’t top more than a few kilotons, which could easily have been done with conventional explosives. Ooh– now that’s something to get excited about!

01/04/2007

Dad says the American Forecasting Model predicts a big snowstorm in Denver tomorrow, but today it was almost 60 degrees and I figured I couldn’t pass up weather like that. So I hooked up with a group of friends and we played five-on-five ultimate in about a foot and half of snow.

Whoa, that was a lot of work! Running in snow like that is akin to running through the surf on the beach– you have to lift your legs high enough to clear the snow. Of course the fact that some areas had lots of crisscrossing footprints while others were still pristine made for a minefield of adventure. And not surprisingly, I couldn’t resist the chance to dive for a pass and skid across the snow (out of showmanship more than necessity).

It was a good time nonetheless, even if all of us were completely exhausted and couldn’t feel our feet. As we all climbed into our cars and stripped off our wet gear, someone commented that it’s not often you have to wring out your socks after a game. Whee!

01/03/2007

The official 2006 Darwin Awards have been given, and the winner is a couple of friends from FloriDUH. Quoting from the official press release:

June 3, 2006 (Florida): Two more candidates have thrown themselves into the running for a Darwin Award. The feet of Jason and Sara, both 21, were found protruding from a deflated, huge helium advertising balloon. Jason was a college student, and Sara attended community college, but apparently their education had glossed over the importance of oxygen.

When one breathes helium, the lack of oxygen in the bloodstream causes a rapid loss of consciousness. Some euthanasia experts advocate the use of helium to painlessly end one’s life.

The pair pulled down the 8′ balloon, and climbed inside. Their last words consisted of high-pitched, incoherent giggling as they slowly passed out and passed into the hereafter.

12/29/2006

As evidence that Laralee is truly the greatest person ever, she went out today– after the second-worst snowstorm in the last decade– and shoveled our driveway.

Why is this amazing?

1) Our driveway is about sixty feet long.
2) It faces north, meaning it’s usually iced over and never melts from sunlight.
3) She had already shoveled it three days ago, after the worst snowstorm in the last decade.

But even more amazing:

4) She then shoveled the driveways of three of our neighbors, and the sidewalk along the entire street.

The neighbors were all out of town (presumably visiting family for the holidays) and Laralee thought how much it would suck to come home from a vacation and find your driveway buried under almost two feet of snow. So she spent almost four hours huffing and puffing in 25-degree weather, and when Bill and Greg and Tami all get back home, they’ll be pleasantly surprised.

Now I probably owe her a backrub or something.

12/29/2006

“I’m the commander– see, I don’t need to explain… I do not need to explain why I say things. That’s the interesting thing about being president.”

— President George Bush, in the book Bush at War

“I’m also not very analytical. You know I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things.”

— President George Bush, June 4 2003

“I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe… I believe what I believe is right.”

— President George Bush, July 22 2001

“See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don’t attack each other. Free nations don’t develop weapons of mass destruction.”

— President George Bush, Oct 3 2003

“If this were a dictatorship, it’d be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I’m the dictator.”

— President George Bush, Dec 19 2000

Let’s give him a hand, ladies and gentlemen! Truly a man of powerful words.